


In the Same River

by Luzula



Category: due South
Genre: Episode Tag, M/M, Reunions, Wistful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-14
Updated: 2013-09-14
Packaged: 2017-12-26 14:13:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/966886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luzula/pseuds/Luzula
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Meeting Eric again stirs up old feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Same River

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [](http://www.archiveofourown.org/users/Sproid/profile)[**Sproid**](http://www.archiveofourown.org/users/Sproid/) for beta-reading! Written for [](http://seascribe.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**seascribe**](http://seascribe.dreamwidth.org/)'s revival of Canadian Blowjob Day. This turned a little more serious than I'd thought, but I promise that there are indeed blowjobs in it. : ) Set after _Mask_. The story draws on the backstory I wrote for this pairing in [Leaving Home](http://archiveofourown.org/series/1182), but can be read without it, too. I actually really ship these two, and I wish there was more fic about them.

Ben hadn't been at all sure what it would be like, meeting Eric again. Not that they had never met since their teens: they had, but those meetings had been brief, and always among other people.

Now here they were, side by side on the couch and alone in Ben's apartment.

"You still make good tea, even down here in Chicago," Eric said, raising his cup.

"I stock up when I go north."

"I imagine you do."

Tea was a safe subject. Then again, they had negotiated some of the touchy subjects well enough, without ever spelling things out explicitly. The masks would go where they were meant to go. And if some people were none the wiser about that, well, so be it.

"So was it worth it? Becoming a Mountie?" Eric asked. In his teens, that would have been a challenge, with anger glinting in his eyes. Now it was just a question, with what seemed like genuine curiosity behind it.

And for Ben, there was no need to feel defensive anymore. He leaned his head in his hand, gazing down into the tea. "I think so," he said, when the silence had almost stretched too long. "There are things I've given up, and things I've gained. But--I don't think I was making much of a choice, back then. It was more that it was the path that...presented itself to me. For whatever reason."

He didn't think he'd made himself very clear, but Eric nodded.

"And yes, it was about my father," he admitted.

Eric grinned unexpectedly, white teeth showing. "Oh, we both knew that already."

Ben smiled back, then sobered again. "I see him, you know."

Eric's eyes narrowed. "See him? His spirit?"

"Yes."

"That must be a strong tie, to draw him all the way down to Chicago."

Ben hadn't thought of it that way before, and it warmed him unexpectedly. "Perhaps. In any case, he comes and goes. I've never been able to figure out why, or what his purpose here is, exactly."

"Have you asked him?"

"He...equivocates. He's good at that."

"As are you," Eric said with amusement in his voice.

The corners of Ben's mouth twitched. "As you say."

It was so good to see this light-hearted side of him again. This was the Eric that had teasingly, but with great fondness, called him "white boy", in their teens.

"Well," Ben said. "Any advice?"

"About your father?"

"Yes."

Eric shrugged. "Hmm, well. He's _your_ father."

"True."

"But if you want to talk about it...?"

They did, for a while, and it was so good, to talk with someone who didn't think he was crazy. Not that he had told anyone and gotten that reaction, and he was almost sure that Ray wouldn't think he was crazy, but...there was always the possibility. With Eric, he'd known he didn't have to fear it.

The talk wandered on to Eric's relatives, and to Eric's work and his involvement in the Tsimshian land claims process. Ben found himself relaxing back in the couch, his shoulder close to Eric's, their knees brushing occasionally.

He wondered if Eric currently had a partner. He thought he'd have heard if that was so, given the family gossip network, but he wasn't sure. Even back in their teens, he and Eric hadn't been entirely articulate about such things. And now...well, they were hardly that close anymore, and Ben had been the one to leave. Not for the purpose of leaving Eric, but still. He had gone to Depot and then he had left for his first posting.

"You're quiet. Getting tired?"

He had been quiet, he realized. "Ah, no. Just...thinking. Of the past." He looked up, met Eric's eyes, then looked away before the shared gaze could grow too intent.

"Mmm. Me, too." Eric sighed. Silence again for a while, then he went on in a low voice. "It was a long time ago. Still. Do you realize I cried myself to sleep the night before you left for Qurluktuk?"

"You did?"

Eric laughed a little. "You sound surprised."

"Well--you seemed so together. Of course, compared to me, anyone would have."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Ben. Your grandmother had just died."

"I suppose, yes."

Eric shifted a little, and their legs touched and remained that way, a small point of contact and warmth. Ben felt disproportionately flustered by it. Was Eric offering...? And if he was, did Ben want to? He remembered the years of painful longing before he'd gotten over losing Eric in his teens, before it had faded to a dull ache and then to a memory. And now? Their lives were separate, by choice and by circumstance. It would be a futile to suppose that anything could come of it other than a night of...pleasure? Comfort? And how would he feel after that?

Then again, an offer of closeness was not something he wanted to turn away out of hand, either. If an offer was indeed being made here, which he was not sure it was.

In the end, he wasn't sure if it was folly or wisdom that made him turn towards Eric, glance at him for permission, and then touch his hand to Eric's long black hair.

Eric drew in his breath slightly, and held his gaze with dark eyes. It was easy, then, to lean in and kiss him.

Their touches were slow, exploratory. The years had changed them: they'd grown into their bodies, both a bit stocky now with approaching middle age.

"This is new," Eric murmured, running his hand over Ben's back and encountering the scar on his back. His fingers circled it.

Ben bit his lip. "I'd rather not talk about it. Not now."

Eric nodded, moved on. He mouthed at the otter scar on Ben's collarbone and smiled. "I do remember this one."

"I imagine you do," Ben said, undoing the tie around Eric's hair to let it out. He'd always loved Eric's hair, and he drew his fingers through it, feeling it catch a little on his calluses. He fisted his hand in it and pulled Eric up for another kiss, this one deeper.

"Bed?" he asked, when he surfaced again.

Eric nodded. They'd rarely done it in a bed, in their teens--it had been down on the seashore in Tuk, or in a tent to escape the mosquitoes. So it was almost as strange to see Eric in the lamplight on the white sheets as it was to see the marks of age on him.

They rolled together on the bed, feeling out each other's strength and weight. But when Eric murmured "Let me?", Ben was happy to yield, rolling over on his back and letting Eric take the lead. He shivered when Eric took him in his mouth.

Their bodies were not the only thing that had changed--other lovers had left habits of touch and caress behind. Not so many lovers, for Ben. He didn't know about Eric, but his mouth was hot and sure on Ben's erection. Ben gave himself up to it, rode the pleasure that rose in him like a river in flood. One of Eric's hands was on his hip, his other hand round the base of Ben's cock, holding him firmly when he finally came.

Ben lay there, breathing hard. He gathered himself and searched out Eric's mouth, then his cock. They'd never fucked--hands and mouths had always been enough for them--and they didn't change that now, regardless of what their experiences elsewhere might have been.

"Regrets?" Eric murmured afterwards.

 _For what?_ Ben wanted to ask. But he didn't have the energy to ask, just made a non-committal noise and tugged Eric's back to his chest, slinging his arm around him.

He supposed this was as near to a one-night-stand as he might ever get. He'd never been the sort of person who was attracted to strangers. It was not a moral stance--indeed, it would perhaps have been easier for him if he could have been more casual about sex, given that so many people seemed to want to take him to bed on first sight. No, he had always been attracted to friends, people whom he had grown close to over time.

Victoria was the sole exception to that, which did not exactly make him eager to repeat the experience.

Well. Eric would leave, and this moment would exist only in his memory. He felt a sort of anticipatory melancholy, and sighed.

Eric's breathing was regular. His body was heavy in sleep, and Ben tucked himself closer to Eric, against the living warmth of him. He would savor the moment that he had for what it was, and not regret it. 


End file.
